In my next few posts I want to dive into my goals a little deeper and make action plans, and post progress reports and all that fun stuff.
So my first goal is to remove toxic relationships from my life. Well, I have one main one to start with, which of course is the Sandwich Guy. I was having breakfast with my friend this past weekend, and we started talking about life which usually turns into him asking me if I still talk to Sandwich Guy. Which always leads to an embarrassed uncomfortable, “yes”. Then he asked me a question that really had me at a loss. He said “what do you really need to finally move on?” So I thought about it all weekend and I came up with a list of things I truly need to do to move on and finally end this toxic relationship.
What do I need to truly move on from Sandwich Guy?
First, I want to say sorry I have been away so long. I think it has been at least 8 months or so since I posted anything on my blog. A lot has been going on in my life, and honestly, most of it has not been good. But I will get into all that some other time… today I am back because I want to talk to everyone about goals.
I think we all know and agree that we have to some types of goals. Without them, we wander through life in any which way with no real direction. Which pretty much sums up the last 8 months of my life. I would set a goal, not work toward it, forget about and then start the cycle all over again next week. With no real progress being made in anything.
So today I thought I would I share my goals with every one of you. Write them down, make them real! I have to have some accountability in my life and this is the best way I can think about doing it. I would also love if you guys shared some of your goals with me. I have broken them down into 3 areas of life, personal, professional, and fitness. I want to keep them very high level for today and I will post action plans and progress a little later. I am so excited to start this journey with you all. Let’s work together to create our BEST lives! No more sitting around waiting for things to happen, it’s time we get up and MAKE them happen.
Let's get to work, and become who we always dreamed to be! Happy goal setting...
you did something for the first time? I would listen to this Drake lyric all the time and never thought too much about it. But for some reason when I heard it last week it stopped me in my tracks. Maybe because of the New Year, this is my favorite time of the year. It’s such a great starting point for creating goals to better your life. Or maybe because I just signed up for a yoga/meditation retreat which I was extremely nervous about (which was not yoga at all but I will get into that later). But whatever it was, I stopped and pondered that question for the rest of the night.
It took me back to when I read The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle (which is by far the best book EVERJ). I felt completely different about life after reading that book. Everything in life felt new, I was open to experience everything I could. I went skydiving, jumped off the Stratosphere in Vegas. I literally wanted to try everything I was ever afraid of. But as real life started kicking back in I slipped back into my same old routine. Then this weekend I found myself at what I thought was a Yoga retreat, it definitely was not. I honestly can’t even explain what it really was, I just know I pretty much meditated and sat in silence all weekend. I mean ALL weekend, like 9 hours a day. You have no idea how many times I wanted to run out the door. When I left Friday night I was like man I am not going back. But I did, I got up and realized that even though this was not what I expected I still might find value in it so I should give it a try. By the end of the weekend I did find value in it, I found that sense of wonder again. When I left all I wanted to do was make a list of new things I wanted to try.
There is something so much more about that question then what meets the eye. It’s about stepping out of our comfort zones. It’s about being brave enough to walk into the unfamiliar of life. It could be as small as eating something different, or trying a new restaurant. Or maybe it’s as big as skydiving. It’s about being scared and making the decision to try something new anyway, even if it doesn’t work out.
There is never failure in gaining a new experience in life.
So let’s stop being so quick to judge things before we actually try them. Let’s stop and ask ourselves; when is the last time I did something for the first time?
Ahhh!! It feels so good to be back. I wish I could say I was gone for so long because I was relaxing on a beach sipping margaritas, but it was the complete opposite. I was in a pretty bad place and felt like I was struggling every day. I would try writing a blog with a positive inspirational message and it made me feel like a complete fraud so I would just slam my laptop closed and go on through the motions of my day. I think there were numerous reasons behind the darkness but mainly it came from allowing Sandwich Guy to creep back into my life (I will share the whole story later).
When you are usually a happy go lucky person it is often hard to allow people to see you down. This makes the situation even more painful, you feel completely alone. It was even worse for me. I prided myself on my uplifting spirit, and it is my job to help people be the best they can be. So imagine the shame and guilt it felt to know I couldn’t figure out how to get myself out of this hole I was in. But I slowly started to open up about how I felt.
I finally spoke the words to a friend I have known for a long time. It was a simple text that said I am just in a dark place. Once I spoke the words it was like wiping the tears from eyes so I could start to see clear again. This friend went out of her way to show how much she loved and appreciated me. It made me take a step back and take stock in my life. I am so lucky to have some of the most amazing friends in the world. Once I was honest with myself and everyone around me things started to get better. I allowed people to help, while I was figuring out how to help myself. Not one of them judged me or made me feel bad which is what I think a lot of us can be afraid of. Even when I started to cry in front of my bffl there was nothing but love and support…and he hates when people cry! J
Sometimes it takes a great friend to dust the dirt off so our diamonds can start shining again. As I continue to bring my own sparkle back I just want to remind you all to shine bright, but if sometimes that light isn’t as bright that’s okay too. As hard as it is, no one can help us until we are honest with them, more importantly, until we are honest with ourselves.
Friends are one of the most treasured gifts we have in this life. But what happens when the friendship no longer serves you? It has run its course and ended a long time ago, but for some reason you are still holding on. Breaking up with a friend seems so awkward and is just plain uncomfortable. Of course you can pull the “ghost” and just disappear but that’s probably not the most adult way to handle the situation.
Recently turning 30 made me take stock in a lot of different areas of my life. It made me realize I keep “friends” in my life way longer then I should. I use the excuse of how long I have known them to justify keeping them around. It took me forever to let Sandwich Guy go because we were “friends” for 10 years. (Even though there was way more to that story, you get the point).
Even beyond Sandwich Guy, there were other people in my life that needed to go. One was a very hard decision because I have known her my whole life, literally. But even with the length of time, I truly felt like we hadn’t been true friends in years. She did some things to me which made me not trust her. There were a lot of lies and deceit throughout the whole friendship. Plus, she was never supportive in regards to my hopes and dreams. I felt selfish at first because I wondered if she needed me.Then I realized at the end of the day I needed me more, and that is what matters most.
We spend so much time and energy holding on to friendships we outgrew a long time ago. We water the friendship weeds disguised as flowers and get confused when they over take all the beauty in our gardens. Never feel selfish for removing anything that no longer helps you grow. You can’t have people in your life dulling the sparkle that is you! So shine bright my friends, and get rid of those weeds.
We all have them, you know the people that love to find something wrong or "unrealistic" about your goals and dreams. There is a wonderful Kayne West lyric that sums this up perfectly. It goes a little something like this "You see, if you ever wanted to ever be anything.. There'd always be somebody that shoot down any dream..There'll always be haters, that's the way it is..Hater dudes marry hater girls and have hater kids..But they're gonna have to take my life before they take my drive" (I had to clean it up a little to keep it PG for the blog)…...
When you talk about being, or doing something that has never been done before it scares people. Our brains tend to compare what people are saying to what we know. So if there is nothing to compare it to then people just assume it can't be done. So be careful who you share your dreams with, some people will never get it and that is okay. Your dreams are not for other people to have opinions on, they are a treasure to you. So be very careful who you share that treasure with. Never explain or try to make someone a believer in what you want to do, just smile and keep it moving! When you do accomplish those things that "couldn't be done" (and you will) it will all speak for itself. Find a few great people who you know will support you no matter what. The ones that will give you honest feedback in a way that makes you better. Surround yourself with greatness, and you will be great too!
Don't let anyone pull you down to be basic. You can always be more, and do more if that's what you want! You can be the next CEO, President, or the best mom ever. Whatever your dream is go after it and never let anyone or anything stop you no matter what!!!
"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that, you, too, can become great" - Mark Twain
I have always enjoyed going on job interviews. It’s odd I know, but I love it! Recently I went on a group interview of 40 people and realized not everyone approaches interviews the same way I do, and some of the moments were truly cringe worthy. So I decided to share with you my best interview tips. They have always worked for me, and I hope you will find them useful, and maybe they will land you your next dream job. J
Eye contact is such a simple thing that most people forget. I am not saying stare into the interviewers eyes and never break connection (actually don’t you will come off as super creepy) but make sure you have a good amount of eye contact, especially when the other person is talking. Don’t look at the wall, or a clock, or your phone (which should be out of sight and turned to silent). You should give your undivided attention to the interview and a great way to show that is keeping eye contact. In group interviews it is even more important. You have to play the room and address every person in it, even if you know one person has the hiring decision. Make everyone on the panel feel equally important, which they really should be.
Making a Personal Connection
When you go in for an interview the company already has your resume. They already have a basic idea of the skills and experience you are bringing to the table. What they don’t have is an idea of who you are as a person. So make sure to always be yourself and let your personality shine though. Don’t try to come up with the perfect answer to every question, that is not why you are there. I understand interviews can make people very nervous, but at the end of the day all they really are is a conversation between two or more people trying to build a connection. Focus on that aspect and everything else will fall into place.
Answering the Dreaded Weakness Question
So I have to share a story on this one. In the group interview I was in, we were at the customer service table and they went around and asked us each what was our biggest weakness. One gentleman said he gets frustrated with people easily. I wanted to stop him in his tracks and yell NOOOO. The golden rule of this question is never say something that pertains to the job for which you are interviewing. For example, if you are interviewing for a finance job you would never say, man I really suck at numbers. My answer to the question was I have no willpower, every time I drive by a Tim Horton’s I get an Iced Capp. Notice I said nothing about customer service, plus I lightened the question with a joke. I also use my lack of mechanical skills sometimes, because we all know I cannot fix a printer to save my life.
Last but not least don’t forget to smile. Smiling not only lightens the mood of the interview, but it makes you more relaxed and just makes you feel good. J
Hopefully you found some of these tips helpful, if you have any to add I would love to hear them. Good luck on your next interview!
This week has been a tough one for my family. We had to say goodbye to a beloved furry friend. Blue was my dad's best friend and I can't imagine what he is going through. It broke my heart to see him so sad. I think the end of any life, makes us look at what is really important in our own. I also believe that there are so many lessons we can learn from our dogs. So in honor of Blue, as well as my best friend Big here are the three greatest lessons I have learned from my dog.
Dogs love us for exactly who we are. It doesn't matter how much money we have, or if we put on an extra 10lbs that we just can't rid of. :-) They just want to be around us no matter what. Dogs show us the true definition of unconditional love.
Dogs also show us that there are no need for grudges in life. Of course sometimes our dogs make us angry (like when Big decided to take a poo right in my closet) but how can you not forgive those cute little faces? They also forgive us for any and everything we do, and very quickly. I can yell at Big one minute and he will still come cuddle and love me the next.
Dogs are not worried about what happened yesterday, and they aren't worried about what is going on tomorrow. They just want to eat, play, and cuddle. Just being around you is there favorite part of the day. Could you imagine if we were able to stay in the moment without any worry in the world?
Dogs are a true gift, and if you have been lucky enough to love one you know they are full of lessons. Big teaches me something new about life, love, and happiness almost every day, and I am sure my dad felt the same way about Blue.
Saying goodbye is never easy, but I know there is another angel looking over my family and especially my dad.
Blue we all love you so much, and you will be greatly missed.
I am headed into a whole new chapter of my life, my 30’s. At first I was dreading the day, leaving my 20’s felt like I was leaving my youth behind. I thought I had to have my whole life planned out before I turned 30. As the day quickly approached the less and less I felt ready. Then finally I realized this should be an exciting time. It’s a whole new decade and I am so lucky to be able to even see it. It’s a chance to reinvent myself, and now I can’t wait. So in this last month of my 20’s I have been putting together a list of things I want to leave there…so here it goes.
People Who No Longer Help Me Grow
I hold onto people far longer then I should. I think there is nothing better than an old friend. But there are some people who I hold onto just because I have known them for a long time. We have outgrown each other a long time ago, yet for some reason I can’t figure out how to end the relationship. This is a perfect time to take inventory of everyone in my life, and let go of the old to make room in my heart for the new.
I like to think I do a pretty good job at taking care of myself. I try and do Yoga and Zumba and recently started working out with a trainer. But with that said I am known to not grocery shop for a few weeks and live off Papa John’s pizza (my fave), and let’s not even begin to talk about my Ice Capp addictions..YIKES. It seems like once I slip, I continue the pattern for a good month before I get back on track. Of course I believe in treating myself every once in a while, but I want to stop letting a day of unhealthy habits turn into a month.
I consider myself a pretty successful person, and usually I have a lot going on but man I can be super lazy. I love weekends where I do nothing but lay on the couch and watch Shark Tank. I am not saying I need to be doing something all day every day, but I don’t want to continue putting things off for my bed.
Saying Yes When I Want to Say No
I am a people pleaser by nature. I usually do any and everything people ask me to do. No matter what position it puts me in. I was afraid I would be viewed as selfish if I said no. Going forward I only want to say yes to things I feel in my heart are the right things to do. I want to stop letting other people’s opinions dictate my actions.
You don’t have to wait until a major life change like turning 30 to assess your life and decide what works and what doesn’t. Every day, and even every minute is a chance to leave your old self behind and create the person you have always wanted to be.
Fear is something everyone can relate to. It comes in all different shapes and sizes. Fear can stop you right in your tracks and keep you from achieving your dreams. I was so afraid to start this blog. Mainly because I am a pretty private person and, I consider my personal life a little embarrassing. I was so scared of what a certain person would think if he read my blog. But at the end of the day I had to move past my fear and do what was in my heart. I knew people could relate to my story and I felt like it needed to be told. I did what I was afraid to do and posted my blog anyway, and let me tell you it felt sooo good.
There aren't that many better feelings then being truly afraid of something and doing it anyway. My greatest lesson in fear came from one of my favorite things, a book. All my clients know I am obsessed with Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now. Somehow I manage to bring the book up in all my conservations. The book changed my life in so many ways but the main thing it did was help me conquer my fears. He described fear as an anxiety about a future that probably will never happen, and he is right. This simple statement changed the way I looked at everything I was afraid of. For the most part what you fear never happens. I can't remember the last time I was super worried about something that actually came true. What a waste of good time, and energy. Eckhart also explained when something "scary" does happen, our instincts will kick in and there will still be nothing to be afraid of.
Don't let fear stop you from becoming your greatest self. There are some incredible things waiting on the other side of what you’re afraid of!